How to write a #bookreview as taught by a 5th grade teacher

Recently, I’ve been lamenting about how to write a book review. I read two books last month and I had wanted to review them but I had no idea how to start. I get lots of emails from others saying how they’ll teach me how to do all kinds of things to better my writing, sell my book, place higher in the Google-sphere, but for a price. Frankly, I’d rather not sit through an hour of yapping about their ‘author platform’ or whatever else they have to sell me, for the five minutes of real knowledge I wanted.

That’s how those “authors” make their money, by you handing it over to find out something you probably already knew, but I digress.

My husband is pretty smart, perhaps a little over the top with his love of Philadelphia sports, but overall, he’s a bang up guy.  He’s also been an elementary school teacher for just shy of 20 years (5th grade this year). While his Bachelors degree is in Journalism and Philosophy (what was he thinking?), he’s very good at teaching. The kids love him and often remember him in their high school Valedictorian speeches (three times now).

Tired of hearing me whine about my dilemma, my hubby comes in the room with a sheet of florescent green paper he hands his students.

“I think you’re smarter than the average 5th grader,” he says, and walks away to continue watching the Stanley Cup finals, even though the Flyers aren’t in it. (He’s rooting for the Canadians.)

Here it is my friends, precisely how to write a book review and it won’t cost you one cent. Maybe a follow or a comment?

1. Opening Statement. Start off by telling your readers about the main plot of the story. Make a strong statement that will draw readers in to buy the book. Using some of the book blurb would be helpful but change it a little so you’re not just copy/paste.
2. The Characters. Tell your readers about the characters: who you liked, who you didn’t like, and most importantly, why you feel that way.
3. Feelings. Think about how the story made you feel and share it. What opinions did you have while reading and why did you have them? How did the author make you think about the conflict?
4. Logic. Give your readers some reasons to read the book. Describe how you felt about the ending. Were there twists you didn’t see? Were you disappointed? (But don’t give it away!)
5. Rating. Typically five stars is you loved it, couldn’t put it down, highly recommend. Four stars is you really liked it but (whatever you didn’t like), however, you would still recommend. Three stars and below: For me, I wouldn’t review a book if I couldn’t give it four or five stars.

So there you go folks. How to write a book review based on the proven 5th grade method.