The Imposter [Syndrome]

We’ve all had daydreams about being celebrated for something we’ve accomplished, but in the same breath, we fear those accolades. We’re afraid of being seen as we see ourselves: a failure. 

Imposter syndrome (IS) refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. While this definition is usually narrowly applied to intelligence and achievement, it has links to perfectionism and the social context.

I’ve been garnering some kudos at work recently and it makes me damn uncomfortable. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything special. Just doin’ my job, ma’am.

And God forbid I even think I’m deserving of praise. Too many times have I dared to think I was good at something, like um, writing, only to have the Universe slap me silly for my audacity. I’ve got proof in the most scathing review ever by Podium Cafe

Since January, I’ve been tweaking parts of Wheeler, the first novel in my #sportsromance series, to tie all three books together with Easter eggs and such. [This would be the third time I’ve tweaked parts, and I’m finally at peace with it; so long as I don’t get an email telling me there’s a typo.]

I thought, what better way to tout the series I’m so proud of! Let’s have a blog tour! 

What’s a virtual blog tour, you ask? 

For a fee, a ‘blog tour company’ organizes a tour of book bloggers’ web pages/blogs/Facebook/Instagram to herald your release with pre-written blurbs, photos and sometimes excerpts, depending on the blogger. There are lots of tour companies, and some are better than others so be choosey. Same with bloggers, as there are many that offer nothing more than what’s given by the promoter.

The Holy Grail of a blog tour is when one actually reviews it – and likes it. 

This was the third time I’ve done a blog tour, and twice with the same tour company, Silver Dagger. The first time – nearly 5 years ago, quite a few bloggers undertook the task of reviewing the first novel and, undeservedly, it received good marks. (I say undeservedly because the 2016 iteration of Wheeler sucked big time. See, scathing review above.)  

After some heavy contemplation and professional editing, I crossed my fingers and entered the finished product in the New Apple Book Awards. To my surprise, Loren’s story was runner up for Cross-Genre Fiction. 

Then, Literary Titan gave Wheeler 4 stars. 

When the second book, In Darkness There Is Still Light went on tour, only Literary Titan reviewed it and gave In Darkness 4 stars. Thomas even interviewed me for the release and I shared about the possibility of one character’s redemption here.

Then came book 3 in 2019, One Fire Burns Out Another’s Burning. I didn’t bother with a tour because the last one’s cost didn’t meet the return.  But, Literary Titan gave it FIVE stars. Read the review HERE. I still get all choked up. 

Comments for the most recent virtual tour were plenty, with most about how the covers are interesting, or how interesting the blurbs make the story. 

Interesting is akin to cute or nice. The kiss of death. 

Since July 5, THREE copies have been purchased. By ME, to give as a prize in a new follower drawing on Instagram. Which I haven’t done again because nobody cares. Not even the person who won the $25 Amazon card because I never heard back from them. 

And enters the Imposter thoughts. Who are you to think you can write? Nobody wants to read that, not even for a dollar! 

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